Can't sleep

Hmmm not much to say…. It’s 5am, we have to go to work in 2.5 hours…
Just can’t sleep….
No nightmares…
No flashbacks….
Just can’t sleep….

We’ve always been bad sleepers. We used to have a penlight that we used to read our book with all night if possible. We also grind our teeth while we sleep, so it’s never a restful sleep… always full of tension and anxiety.

What’s strange is that we’ve developed this leg jiggling thing while we’re sitting at the computer. Not sure what its about or if it happens with all of us, but its kinda annoying. Wonder if we do it at work too?

Hmmm as you can probably tell, feeling very disconnected again. Starting to worry about therapy this week as the last thing the therapist said to us as we did the crazy arsed walking out the door was “we’ll talk about this next week”. Not sure what we’re going to be talking about, but have an awful feeling its the flashback. Really hoping we just zoned out on her during the flashback and didn’t do the rocking or the total re-living thing. Something scarily vulnerable about doing a flashback in front of someone.

Flashbacks suck!

Ohh well better go back to bed and pretend that we’ll get some more sleep. Probably won’t, but ya never know what could happen in the little city.


3 thoughts on “Can't sleep

  1. FWIW — I had a lot of success in combating a lifelong sleep anomaly by learning to put my alters to bed one at a time, or at least getting them to agree to stay in a quiet space during the time when the body needed to be at rest. For a couple of them, this involved inventing safe spaces and guardians for them, and it took a while to get it right, but it was well worth it … I feel much better physically. Our lives are hard enough without sleep deprivation … after 35 years of it, I had no idea how depleted I was until I started having some kind of normal sleep after doing this work.

  2. Hi David, I’d never thought of this. We unconsciously did it on a small scale when we created a totally white, safe room in our internal house that had bean bags (filled with wool rather than beans) for safety and sleeping. But maybe we need to do it on a larger scale.Great suggestion, thank you.Take care

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