We were going to take a break from writing here for a couple of weeks to try and get everything sorted out, but things have happened. Some of them are good – like getting an interview for the job we applied for. Some of them are not so good – like the mother deciding to quit her job and talking about moving up here for six months to get out of the hometown.
Everything is scary again. It’s our birthday in a couple of weeks and the mother is going to come up for the week to be with us. We should feel glad that she is going to come up, but we feel scared. We should feel happy that we’ve got a job interview, but we’re terrified.
We’re losing so much time and losing our train of thought so quickly it’s hard to focus on anything. A short email to our American friend took an hour to write. Just craziness.
We try to look for ways to simplify our life. Not sure if the job down South will simplify or complicate things.
Talking to Liz in therapy this week was not good and wound us up more. She set homework, which we completed. When she looked at it she said it wasn’t what she was expecting – didn’t say what she was expecting, just that what we had done wasn’t it. She played word games with W by saying that the father “missed her”. To an eight year old, that means that he physically missed her. But Liz was putting meanings behind it which W was not able to grasp alone.
We talked with Liz about the frustration of her trying to ground us by listing three things we can see, touch and feel each week. These techniques really grates in that we have little physical sense of our body, are hearing impaired and our vision narrows significantly with stress. Liz counters with the theory that if we expect the same, we’ll get the same. We agree with this, but you can’t expect significant changes to happen in a week. It’s frustrating when you read articles about moving on to another therapist when the one you are seeing isn’t working out, isn’t a trauma specialist etc. But what if there are no other therapists in your town?
We’re losing that sense of hope that we had for awhile. We’re now starting to realise how much damage the incidents with Bob caused to the system regarding evicting a part as a way to move forward. Ian (theroyalus) once said that no therapy was better than bad therapy. We now believe him.