So much of my time is caught up in the moment. I’m only aware of the here and now, I have no past and no future. Some would consider this living a mindful life, but I think that it’s the opposite. When I only exist in the moment I forget all consequences and everything I’ve learned. My ability to reflect on the past fades away, so I find it hard to put the moment into a meaningful context. In many ways, it is living a life of mindlessness, lurching from one moment to the next with no connect between them. Life becomes disjointed, rather than harmonious. Internally, I get treated to a series of billboards detailing what has happened in the previous moments. It’s a highly dissociative experience, and one I’m experiencing more and more.
It’s interesting being caught in the moment. You don’t care about anything… It doesn’t matter if people trample all over your boundaries… It doesn’t matter if they hurt you with words… It doesn’t matter what happens to your body… It will all be forgotten in the next moment.