Respite care success

I’m writing this from a respite care house πŸ™‚ Respite care is a very odd experience. I’m in a normal house on a normal street with a “normal family”. I’ve just had the most surreal evening meal with this family… They blessed the food (mild trigger, but nothing too bad), ate, talked and joked. There were no undercurrents, no tension, no unspoken hostility… It was very, very odd. I haven’t experienced that in my adult life ever. I’ve never witnessed a family who loved and joked without malice. I still don’t know what to make of it all.

My room is simple and comforting. I’m the only “client” here, and they have a capacity of three clients at any one time. There are no locks on any of the internal doors – including the bathroom, which is a little triggering, but it still feels safe! I’ve felt welcomed into the home without reservation. They don’t care about my diagnosis or what has led me here. There is just warm comforting acceptance. They’re not the Crisis Team trying to therapise me, they’re just a normal family who accept strangers into their house with basic guidelines in place.

There was a visitor for dinner who has mental health issues and is going through the DBT program, she convinced me that the program, as delivered here, wouldn’t suit me. It was interesting to talk to her though. It sounds like her world fell apart and she is now struggling on an invalids benefit. I can see how that could so easily have been me. But instead my current level of dissociation keeps me on a different level of functioning.

So I am safe! I’m writing this from my iPhone as my computer access is non-existent (as is access to a spell checker *sigh*). I’m trying not to worry about the silly things, like my crops in FarmVille and Farm Town dying while I’m here. But the little things will get to me every now and again. I’ve been told that I can stay as long as I need to get myself back to ground; as I’m somewhere out Pluto way at the moment, that could take awhile.

On a random note… Our door has a painting of Tigger on it, which pleases Aimee immensely πŸ™‚

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9 thoughts on “Respite care success

  1. Congratulations!!!! We were pulling for you to find this safety you so sorely needed! Enjoy it… you deserve it. But I hope you use the time to figure some things out for yourself.

  2. Oh yay, yay, yay! I’m so glad you had success getting into respite (though am concerned about what got you there, given the issues you wrote about last post).

    Please take care, try to relax and “enjoy” the “normal” family atmosphere. I cannot imagine what that’s like, but in a way it would be nice to see and experience just once.

    I have just had my second experience of watching all my crops wilt. It wasn’t as big a deal as I thought. The farm will still be there, and the land waiting for new crops, when you are ready.

    Please take as a long as you need to get back to ground.

    Sending lots of luv and hugs your way.

    Kerro

    PS I’m glad Aimee likes the Tigger! πŸ™‚

  3. We are soooooooo glad that you got the help you need !!!!!!!!!! πŸ™‚
    (huh, just wipe away some tears which have crept into my eyes)
    This are such good news!! We’re so relieved for you my friend that you got the help. It’s sounds good, what you have written about this family. Please stay there until you feel better and till you are strong enough, to handle the outside.
    Thinking of you and sending lots of luv and hugs
    (((())))

    PS: I know how it is when the former world fell apart and you are relying on disability benefits. I was forced to do this, because we are (at the moment) unable to work 😦

  4. Oh, I am so grateful and relieved to read this … and it sounds like a very gentle atmosphere. I am so deeply thankful that you got a break from whatever cosmic entity arranges bits of good fortune when they are badly needed.

  5. Hi everyone,

    Thank you for your kind words and wishes…

    It’s been rough in respite. Working out in my head what is happening, having to eat with others, having to be social… These are all skills I find incredibly challenging. But I’ve usually managed them with some form of dissociation and coping.

    In some ways it is a blessing, and also a curse… but at the end of the street is a school with a fort very similar to the one I was hurt in as a girl. It forces me to confront the reality of what happened. It forces that layer of denial to be removed.

    Thank you all for your kind comments and wishes, I’m only sorry that I can’t reply individually – it severely irks one of our very polite ones πŸ™‚

    Take care,
    CG

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