Little girl lost

This is the writing to accompany a You Tube clip Sophie did a couple of years ago.  Today, we find comfort and expression in the words.  It doesn’t quite sound right without the music and pictures, but someone asked if they could use (what they described as) this poem in a presentation about DID.  I’d never thought of the words as a separate entity until that point, but this is what Sophie wrote…

Little girl lost…
How much more can she take…
Before she breaks?
Looks our from behind the mask…
That hides the shattered fragments of her past.

Wonders what she ever did…
To make them treat her like this.
She tried to be invisible…
Tried to make everything perfect…
And she kept all of the secrets…
But the games continued.

She never knew what game they wanted…
She just knew it was going to hurt.
So she’d shut her eyes tightly…
And pretend she was somewhere else…
But some part remained…
Who felt the pain.

But now we cautiously look…
For help…
For understanding.
But all we feel is the pain…
Only now the scars are for all to see…
We’re not sure how much more pain we can take…
Before we have to escape.

Despite all the pain…
There are parts which hold an innocence…
And sense of wonder.
So we are at a crossroad…
Do we escape the pain permanently…
Or refuse to let the pain and abusers win…
By giving that innocence a chance…
To grow into strength, peace…
And tranquility.

—————-
Now playing: Brooke Fraser – Scarlet
via FoxyTunes

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8 thoughts on “Little girl lost

  1. Hi Castorgirl, I just wanted to tell you how much I love your video and your poem, they are both quite excellent! 🙂 and really speak to where I am right now in my healing journey.

    Thank you for creating and sharing these–this is such a lonely journey, it helps to know there are others who understand the pain and the process needed to heal. I think you really captured the essence of DID in your video–great job! 🙂

    • Hi Jahda,

      Thank you so much for the compliment 🙂 I’m sorry this is your struggle too. It is a lonely journey, no matter how many people are around you. This is truly the gift of blogging, YouTube etc, they allow us to build a supportive community with others who understand and can lend encouragement when it’s needed.

      Take care,
      Sophie 🙂

  2. Wow. The other night your entry led me to Polyvore and your incredible collages. This entry led me to YouTube and your incredible videos. Your talent is amazing.

    I learned much more about you. I learned you are extremely intelligent. I learned you have a sense of humor(skillfully hiddened in a word or a phrase).I learned you have a great capacity for love. I learned you respect and appreciate those inside of you who have helped you survive some really horrible stuff. I learned a little more about your personal life. The videos made me want to go back and read more of your earlier entries.

    There needs to be resources that show this side of DID. Not the Hollywood side, not the skeptic side, but the personal side. Your videos do that beautifully. Sophie’s words for this video are not only a lyrical accompaniment, but they are educational in a knowledgeable, personal and sensitive way. Sophie, you write from your heart and express your thoughts in a beautifully poetic manner. So much talent!

    ~cookie

    • Hi Cookie,

      Thank you for the compliments 🙂 I really don’t know what to say, other than thank you…

      There are some excellent resources out there about DID from a non-Hollywood stance, but they don’t get the exposure that the television series does. I hope that some of our works help other survivors, even if it’s to help them feel less alone on this journey.

      Take care,
      Sophie 🙂

  3. Dear Sophie, when I saw the video on Youtube the first time (months ago), I was really impressed about the unbelievably excellent work you did.
    It’s great that someone see the value as regards content in this writing and intends to use them for a presentation. Sophie, this is a wonderful confirmation for you, how well you write and can express yourself in words.
    I love both: the video and the words.
    Sending many warm safe hugs (((())))

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