Lost for words

We’re at a loss for words.  We don’t know what to say anymore, to anyone.  This isn’t about writers block, or anything to do with not having anything to say, it’s about not knowing how to say anything.  As a way to try to break out of this pattern, we did some free thinking/word association and came up with the following Wordle image…

Wordle image: Free thinking/Word associationIt was interesting to see how often we repeated some of the words – we wrote one word per line for two pages.  While the words could be taken several ways, they are all an indication that we’re getting closer to the edge.  We’re trying any way to distract and find ways to cope in the moment.

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13 thoughts on “Lost for words

  1. You beat me to doing one of these… Does it feel better to get it out?

    I happened to notice the word pain is written twice.

    It would be interesting to see what the same exercise would yield when you are in the more functional place you sometimes find yourself in.

    • It did feel better to get it out and to see it presented like this. In some ways, creating the Wordle was like putting it on a shelf in a different format. I know I dissociated part way through doing the two page list of words, so looking at some of the words as they appear here is a little surprising… it may also account for some of the words appearing both with and without capitalisation.

      I thought that I might try it again in another month, or when I’m in a clearer frame of mind…

      I’d be interested to see what you did with Wordle, it’s something that could be fun or powerful.

      Take care,
      CG

  2. Ironic to have no words when there are so many words inside shrieking to be released.
    From so many.
    So many words.
    To be spoken, written, expressed.
    ….Exposed.
    So many words.
    Too much fear and confusion.
    Too many words.
    Can’t hear them.
    Won’t hear them.
    Mush.
    Hush.
    But hey you, you are like me.
    We both got that irrepressible part inside.
    It never gives up.
    It can see beauty.
    It can help us.
    TC
    Ones

    • Hi Ones,

      You said it well – we have no words when there are so many words inside shrieking to be released. It’s like they get stuck inside our head and we aren’t able to release them in any way. That’s why I used the Wordle tool, as a way to try and get them out.

      I think all survivors have that irrepressible part inside, whether it be stubbornness, hope, will to survive or fight… there’s something in all of us that keeps us going.

      Thank you for your comment…
      Take care,
      CG

  3. I love Wordle. It’s powerful, freeing, illuminating … and best of all, it’s fun!

    I’m so glad you’re finding ways to let things out, hang in, deal with stuff going on. I know this is a tough time for you.

    Hugs.

  4. Hopefully, your words will be light and happy soon. Sometimes, these feelings (words) just need to be addressed and maybe that’s what you have done with Wordle. I hope you have a better day today…

    • Thank you Ivory, using Wordle did help. I’m getting better at taking it one day and one moment at a time…

      Take care,
      CG

  5. For some reason the word derealization stood out for me, it nearly jumped off the page. Derealization makes me doubt not just my existence but the existence of everything around me. It keeps me questioning, prevents me from trusting. For me derealization leads to becoming jumpy which in turn has me belittling myself which in turn tires me out so I go to bed feeling like a failure. It is so “easy” to have one symptom lead to another and snowball. For me derealization is the snowflake before the avalanche.
    Your word list speaks volumes to me. Free association can be helpful in so many ways especially when you read your list in the order it was written. I’ve also gone back to see if there’s an overall theme to my free association. Did the same subject come up several times? If so what does that mean for me and should I look at the subject closer? I think free association is a powerful tool especially when one feels so limited in expressing exactly how they feel.
    You did well.

    Austin

    • Hi Austin,

      I hate derealisation. It’s one of the worst states to be in. It’s often part of the snowball effect you describe for me too…

      It was interesting reading over the words that were written – their order and frequency. I know that this exercise was influenced by the problems that I am facing, but it was interesting to see how those problems influence the words used.

      Thank you for commenting and take care,
      CG 🙂

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