Note: This entry may be triggering. Nothing graphic is mentioned, but it is implied.


Hands in the dark
twist and turn the flesh
molds it to a shape that pleases

Eyes turn inward
away from the world
into a life filled with light

Souls pass
on the breath of pain
never glimpsing each other
just shadows

Shutters go down
lights go on
the performance starts

Is that all you’ve got?
surely you can do better
see, I can still walk

Spirit emerges
won yet again
lost yet again

Now playing: Natalie Merchant – My Skin
via FoxyTunes

21 thoughts on “Hands

  1. I’m speechless about the poem. I so relate. There is so much pain. So many layers. Ironies. It has a brilliance that only deep access can create.

    The Polyvore is equally powerful. Hard to view.

    Clearly you want others to know where some of you are at. I hope for Spirit’s sake and all of you that they hear.

    I applaud you all for having the courage and bravery to post this. You are honoring the part from which this came, always an important step.

    • Thank you Paul…

      I’m aware that the poem and Polyvore set were completed quickly, but they hold great meaning. I don’t think I’m looking at either properly yet, but I’ll take them into Allison and work them through together.

      Take care,

  2. I agree, this is incredibly powerful, and I also find it a little difficult to look at. You express yourself so well through poetry, and Polyvore. A courageous post – well done. πŸ™‚

    • Thanks Kerro…

      I always worry when I see the words “powerful” and “courageous”… I feel anything but those things. Yet, the one who wrote this poem is both.

      Take care,

  3. I’m with Paul and Kerro, this is amazing. The Polyvore image is disturbing and I’m glad you put it up. Yep I said “glad”. You needed to do this and the part who wrote the poem needed to express this. I’m really proud of you CG and I’m hurting for you at the same time.
    *Biggest Hug*

    • Thank you tai,

      I’m sorry to have put something up that is so disturbing. I try to keep the blog safe for anyone who visits. I know that isn’t possible, but I try.

      I don’t understand poetry, and I don’t really understand this except on a very superficial level.

      Take care,

      • Just to make sure you understand what I meant: the picture is disturbing but *I* wasn’t disturbed for myself, it didn’t trigger me. Instead, I feel so much compassion for you and I’m very, very glad you put the picture up. You’re blog is always a safe place no matter what you say or do and it’s YOUR blog so you can do or say anything you want. Didn’t want any misunderstandings πŸ™‚

        • Thank you so much for your clarification tai, you have no idea what it means to me.

          I became scared of this piece because of the reactions commenters were having – even though everyone was supportive. I became scared and I ran. It was the worst thing I could have done… as is shown in the latest set done by this part of me – One moment of pain.

          In the last half hour I have learned so much about this part… she took our French classes in college; she wrote our poetry for the sixth form English portfolio; she was the one who got us a 2 in English – while others in the system are unable to construct a complete sentence… She holds so much pain.

          Again, thank you tai.
          Take care,

  4. CG this is incredible stuff! I can relate so much to it…it is scarey. “Spirit emerges, triumphant,
    won yet again, lost yet again”. That is right on for me and brings about so much sadness for me. I hope your ok and I’m so impressed at the way you can express this stuff. Take good care of yourself!

  5. Your poem is beautiful … and painful. I can relate, thankyou for sharing. The polyvore is …. well, I’m lost for words. You are an amazing woman CG. Very brave to be open to yourself. I hope you are going okay and all the best for your next therapy session – this looks like it’s a lot to process.


    • Hi Dawn,

      Thank you for your kind words. I must admit that I am really struggling… today is my ex-husband’s birthday, and that has been a bad time for me in the past. There is much confusion about this day and what is means in our present life.

      So yes, it’s a lot to process…

      Take care,

      • I looked at some of your Polyvore work and one image stuck out. I won’t make assumptions but if what I saw is an indicator of your struggle with the date, I’ll just tell you what you tell me: Try to ground yourself and stay in the present. You’re safe now. Do whatever you can to let your parts know that everyone is safe.

        I hope I didn’t say anything wrong there. I’m still new at helping πŸ™‚ You’re always so good at it.

        • Thank you tai, what you said was perfect… it’s exactly what I need to do.

          I did the birthday set a day or so ago to try and work through some of the issues. I’m hoping seeing Allison tomorrow will remain another anchor in keeping me in the present.

          Take care,

  6. That’s spooky-disturbing-good! Think I’m coming up to the edge of something very good or very bad and I wonder what those eyes in the picture will see when she opens them. Cool.

    What you pull out from inside you, from your visual, artistic place, is always so thought-provoking.


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