Sometimes I don’t have words.


Now playing: Natalie Merchant – Seven Years
via FoxyTunes


24 thoughts on “Pain

    • Good question Paul.

      The other pieces show pain. This shows a different aspect… I get a sense that this is a very young pain, or from one in the system who sees pain/emotions in splashes of colour. I’m not sure. I’ve sent this to Allison for us to look at next week.

      Take care,

  1. I love that the pain is depicted with so much color – it evokes intensity; extreme, vivid pain. There are words in all that color, even if they’re not what we think of as words.

  2. A random question CG – I wonder if the colour is partly pain, but also partly the need for hope in the pain? Does that make sense?

    Sorry you are feeling this way. ((hugs))

    • Hi Kerro,

      It’s another good question, but I don’t get a sense of there being hope associated with this. Possibly more confusion, it feels really young and scary – almost like finger paints. Not sure, I can’t quite get to grips with it. I know it was extremely emotional when I was doing the set.

      Thanks and take care,

  3. Dear CG
    I am sorry that you are feeling hurt right now. I can definitely understand not being able to find the words.

    This is such a strong and emotional picture, thank you for sharing

    Take gentle care of yourself

    • Hi Kylie,

      Thank you for stopping by and commenting…

      Words can be difficult to find. They have a tendency to trip me up sometimes… especially when I’m full of hay-fever, like I am now! But even at the best of times, I sometimes struggle to find the right words.

      Take care of yourself,

  4. This is only from my perspective and experience, but when I put color in art it usually means I have more access to me and come at the art from a more “all of me” perspective.

    • Thanks for your perspective Paul. I know that for me, there was input into this, that is usually absent. There was co-operation in the making of the set, so good things overall.

  5. Hi castorgirl,
    I have been secretly admiring your artwork for a few months now. However, I am sort of new to the concept of trying to express myself. I plan to make it a New Year’s Resolution to get better at that.
    I think you have an amazing talent for expressing yourself through your art. This piece really speaks to me. It expresses so much emotion. I wish you much hope and healing through all that you struggle with.

    • Hi Mareeya,

      Thank you for stopping by and commenting 🙂

      Any positive way that you can express yourself, has got to be good. Paul from Mind Parts is the person who inspired me to continue to try and express myself through the arts. If you haven’t already, check out the latest Expressive Arts Carnival… it’s a great showcase of different artistic styles. There is also the Carnival Against Child Abuse, which often has different artistic entries – this month the Carnival was hosted by Tracie.

      The main thing to remember about expressing yourself in any positive way… there is no “wrong” way. If it’s positive for you to do, it doesn’t matter whether it looks pretty, or sounds right, or your movement is in time with the music. It is what helps.

      Thank you and please take care,

  6. Hello. I don’t want you to get mad or anything, but as I look at this picture I see your hand slipping, but you’ve nailed it to the painful mess behind it, and how the hell will you get out now if you can’t use your hand?

    Are you feeling like there is a rush of pain pushing you against a door?

    Oh, and I really love the picture, too. My pain is always much darker. Maybe you can work with it if you can see it better, or maybe I read too much into your art.

    I’m so glad that you can share your art.


    • Hi Lisa,

      The hand is that of an abuser. It is seen as his left hand, and the markings are meaningful too. I’ve disappeared into the colour, so I can’t be reached, no matter how hard he tries. I can escape when I want to, either in my mind or through the colours.

      For me there are no doors like you describe, I’m sorry if there are for you.

      This is the first time there has been so much colour in a piece depicting pain. Muted and dark colours are usually what is used. This was created after I had been badly triggered, so it was different.

      Thanks, I hope you feel comfortable sharing your art with us all one day too. But you don’t have to. I only share a small proportion of what I do here, I share more with Allison, and some I don’t share with anyone.

      Take care,

  7. CG,
    I’m glad you explained what the hand was and so forth. I’ve been looking at this picture on Polyvore too and that helped me to really see it more. I found your use of so much color really interesting too and I’m glad you and Allison will go over it. I’m so sorry you were badly triggered. I always want to go kick someone’s butt for you when something like that happens. 🙂
    Of course maybe it wasn’t a person, maybe it was an image, but whatever it was, I’m sorry. Thank goodness for artistic outlets! I’m so glad that you share what you feel comfortable with, with all of us. It helps me to get to know you better.

    • Hi tai,

      Thanks, I probably should have explained the meaning behind the hand and everything when I put the piece up here. Sorry I didn’t.

      The colours also repel the hand, so keep me even more safe.

      The trigger was actually positive, as it helped me make some connections. It was scary at the time, but I think that in the long term, it will help me understand more about how I react to things. So short term pain and confusion, for a longer term benefit.

      Take care of yourself 🙂

    • Hi Michelles,

      I’m often so clumsy with words, I need to have other options for expressing myself 🙂

      Polyvore is tricky to start with, but I found it was worth the hassle of the initial learning curve. Some people try it, and find it doesn’t work for them. I see it as another option… it’s good to have as many options for expressing yourself as possible.

      Take care of yourself,

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