The withdrawal continues

It’s like every moment is a blank slate.  There’s no connection to the past, present, or future.  It is what it is… a disconnection from time, place, people… and on some level, reality as well.

Alone

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18 thoughts on “The withdrawal continues

  1. You also feel this even when you at work, don’t you? Somehow there but disconnected, unreal, although functioning …
    Maybe sometimes we need this? When you’re alone and disconnected, nobody and nothing can hurt you. Except by inner parts….
    Sorry, when it sounds confusing. I’m a mess and exhausted.
    please take care (((())))

    • Hi (((LSC)))

      Yes, I feel this all the time. Sometimes it slips into derealisation, but most of the time it’s a persistent sense of disconnection.

      I realise it’s a form of self protection. One way to keep everyone out and keep safe.

      Don’t apologise, you made perfect sense. I’m so sorry you’re a mess and exhausted…

      Please take care of yourself,
      (((warm safe hugs)))
      CG

  2. The disconnection is “normal” for us, I think. Or, rather, expected for us. I think maybe it’s because we work so hard at connecting and understanding parts of ourselves, that it can often get to a place where it’s all overwhelming. You do know that this will change, right?

  3. Today I’m with YOU CG. When I am like this I call it “limbo”….a place where I can just float for a while and be part of nothing else. I hope you are safe and making it thru all of this…my thoughts are with you and I want you to be ok.

  4. I noticed your Polyvore sets too CG, all of the color has been very intersting, especially the really happy one. Is it possible that you’re connect, but on a level that you’re not aware of. Like maybe you don’t feel connected to life or people etc. but some part of you is connecting to something that is letting you make all of those collages? Ok, nevermind that made no sense. 🙂 It’s just that I feel like you’re reaching out or feeling *something* and I know that the color yellow has an appeal to certain a part(s).

    • Hi tai,

      I’m not sure about the connection. I get a glimpse every now and again of there being a great deal of hurt being held within the system. I’m reacting badly to things and being too sensitive, so that’s making me shut down further. So I know that disconnect is a protection thing. I’m not quite sure how to tackle it, or whether I want to.

      You made sense, perfect sense. You might be right, and the use of colour is an attempt to connect… I know that in the past I was told that I was no fun to be around because I was always so down and sensitive. So maybe the colour is an attempt to not appear too depressed and hopeless.

      You have a good memory 🙂 Yes, the colour yellow is important to some…

      Thanks for stopping by, and take care of yourself,
      CG

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