Shame and disgust

I hold the shame and disgust, because there’s no where else to put it.

Shame, disgust...

If I don’t hold it, where would it go?

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16 thoughts on “Shame and disgust

  1. Maybe for now, it could go inside some sort of “container” something you can imagine, something outside of yourself. You can keep it there, until it can be sent to who it belongs to.

    I see that little girl in the picture and she is guiltless.

    • But what if it belongs with me? Maybe not the stuff of the past, but the stuff in the present.
      Sorry, I shouldn’t have posted this. I don’t know why I did. Thanks for the thoughtful suggestion.
      Take care,
      CG

      • It’s ok. I know that your head wasn’t in the space you’d have liked when you posted it but I’m glad you did. Maybe you needed to get this out. And now, look at all of the suppost and care you’ve gotten. That’s good right?

        ((safe hugs)) if you like.

        • I’m really appreciative of the support, but it also scares me. It means I’m not invisible, and I need to be invisible.

          Take care and (((warm safe hugs)))
          CG

  2. If you don’t hold it, then the abusers must take it back. They will have the responsibility, if you don’t take it. Castorgirl, let them have it back, otherwise you are allowing them to win. That’s how they continue to do evil – they convince their victims that they are at fault. Don’t let them win, you are not to blame nor are you responsible for their behavior/choices.

  3. I know how you feel. Shame can have the tightest hold of all the feelings our perps put on us. I’ve tried many times, giving the shame away. Saying it was never mine to begin with. But it’s easier said than done.

    When I was at The Meadows several years ago, I spent three days working on the shame. They had me point to the shame, gave me a white towel to wipe it away and throw it and scream it’s not my shame, over and over, also throwing tissue boxes at the wall. Afterwards I did feel better, but over the years it’s reared it’s ugly head.

    jo

    • That sounds like a really powerful way to work through the shame issues Jo, I’m glad it worked – even for a little while. It shows that it can be done.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting,
      Take care,
      CG

  4. The shame should go where it rightly belongs: to the people who have hurt you. You don’t deserve to keep hurting yourself by being an accomplice to the atrocities committed against you.

    YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME!

    Sending safe hugs if you’ll accept them.

    • Hi missinginsight,

      Thank you for the support. I know you’re right. I just need to dig myself out of the hole that I’ve found myself in.

      Thank you for the hugs (((warm safe hugs))) if you want them,
      CG

  5. You have the right CG to give it back. I know that’s a tall order but it can be done with much diligence. For me some it started to disintegrate into thin air with therapy. It started getting smaller. If I was around ppl in my family of origin though I might have trouble with it more than I do now. Hang in there…always hold onto the thought that this doesn’t belong to you…it was forced on you and you didn’t deserve it. Take care girlie!

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