The Shame Monster

It whispers in your ear
… Telling of faults you never imagined

It stands beside you
… It’s filth rubbing onto your bare skin

It looms over you
… Casting it’s shadow over everything you do

It becomes part of you
… Driving your every action and word

It is the Shame Monster
… It is you

—————-
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24 thoughts on “The Shame Monster

  1. It is a monster. I especially get the part about the filth and bare skin. I know that I can say that you don’t have anything to be ashamed of but I’m not sure that it would help. Hmmm…I’ll say it anyway. You didn’t do anything wrong and you’re a good person.

    I’m sorry you’re in this place and I’m seriously hoping that the evil world cup being over with helps things to calm down for you.

    *safe hugs*

  2. CG I think I have been following you all along through your videos and didn’t know it….I’m glad I found our blog..you help me to say what I am not yet able to say for myself….Thank you…As always…XOXOXO

  3. CG I am always looking for guestposts to host on my real life series..I would be honored to have you:

    I am again looking for guest posts for my survivor series. ……it’s about real struggle..real life…real pain…and getting through to the other side….thank you to all my guests for helping me find my voice….

    If you would like to guest post on BONGO IS ME either let me know here or Email me.

    Thank you all …♥♥♥

  4. CG,

    I think this is a really nice work on identifying shame … and really giving a personified, visceral feeling of the shame experience. Including our relationship with shame: a constant, overwhelming, unwanted companion. May we all make progress in identifying whatever it represents in us, as well as in following that plant down to its meaning roots, whether they be the internalized voice of an abuser, the confluence of conflicting messages about worth/worthlessness, having to endure the conditions of surviving abuse, etc. The shame is not you, or your true essence.

    This is hard work. Thanks so much for this post.

    Hi, RL … hope you are well!

    Michael

    • Hi Michael,

      Thank you. It’s difficult, confusing work. It’s almost like we have to change everything that we’ve always believed about ourselves. Quite a shift in thinking and being.

      Take care,
      CG

  5. My thera always tries to explain to me, that the perps should have this feeling and not we, the survivors. As well as the feeling of guilt. Intellectually, I understand her and know that she is right. But it doesn’t work. These feelings we have, don’t go away so easily. It’s really hard work to change these beliefs.
    Very expressive poetry CG. I’m sorry you’re feeling overwhelmed. Take care, do you?
    LSC

    PS: How is Winnie? Is she ok?

    • Hi LSC,

      It’s so good to hear from you 🙂

      You’re thera is right, the shame is not ours… but we hold it anyway. It’s been with us for so long, and is there for so many different reasons, that it’s hard to untangle.

      Winnie is becoming even less steady on her feet, and spends most of her time inside.

      Take care,
      CG

  6. I understand this one well. Believe it or not the shame monster can be beat, with a recitation of accomplishments and positive traits. It takes some time to get in the habit of listening to that other voice though.

  7. This is a beautiful poem, CG, but sad. I’m sorry you know that shame, too. Hopefully one day, little by little, it will lessen, like Storm Dweller says. ((hugs)) and luv to you.

    • Hi changingstars,

      Shame is one of the things that we have to work through. I know it can be confusing and messy, but it’s vital to realise what we are not responsible for the abusive actions of others. We shouldn’t hold the shame for those acts, they are at the feet of the abusers. I was told that the abuse was my fault, but that is wrong… just like you weren’t responsible.

      I hope you talk to your therapist about this, as it’s a huge issue…

      Take care,
      CG

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